


Little (Sleep) Walks

by Ariallyn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 13:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariallyn/pseuds/Ariallyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After escaping Naomi's control, Castiel isn't quite ready to face Dean again. Heart heavy with the guilt of the crimes he had committed, but needing to see Dean's face, Castiel visits him while he is sleeping. It becomes an unintentional habit and one night, he finds Dean sleep walking... and talking. Dean's restless sleep soon uncovers things that Castiel never knew were possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Selfish

**Hey, this is a short fic I'm writing from a prompt I received on tumblr. (It's super late, I know. I'm sorry.) It'll probably only be three or so chapters. Hope you like it!**

* * *

Castiel didn't know how many times he would tell himself that this was the last time. Out of all of the angels, it seemed he was the one with the least self control. He knew it was wrong of him to come visit Dean after having disappeared. It was selfish. At least, it was in the fact that Dean never actually _knew_  that Castiel was there. It wasn't fair of him to give himself reassurance of Dean's well-being without providing him the same comfort. He just couldn't bring himself to face the hunter after all that he had done while under Naomi's control. If he hadn't managed to break free from her grasp at the last minute…

He shuddered. He didn't even want to think about it.

_I need you…_

Castiel sighed. This was the fourth time he had appeared in Dean's bedroom while he was sleeping. He knew that Dean thought it was "super creepy," as he put it, but he just couldn't stay away. It seemed that this man was all he could think about lately, even with the dire situation he was currently in. But he was afraid of Dean's anger, so he never made contact. He wouldn't stay long. Just long enough to assure himself of the hunter's safety and well-being. Twice, he had come while Dean seemed to be in the midst of a nightmare. Castiel had quickly calmed his mind with a touch, relieved to see him relax with a sigh. Even when he wasn't having a nightmare, Dean was a restless sleeper, and it put Castiel on edge. He wished he could assure him that he was alright, that he was no longer under Naomi's control and doing unspeakable things.

It took him a few seconds after landing in Dean's room, given his preoccupied mind, but Castiel soon realized that something was wrong.

Dean wasn't in his bed.

How could he have not realized that? Was he blind?

"Cas…"

Castiel froze. The voice had come from the doorway. He spun around to see Dean standing there.

"Dean… I…" Panic bubbled in his throat. He wasn't ready for this. Not yet.

"His names Cas," Dean continued over him, "What's your name?"

"W-what?" Castiel stuttered. He took a step closer, looking at Dean.

"Chastity. Wow."

Dean's eyes were glazed over as he stood in the doorway. He stared unblinkingly ahead, as if Castiel wasn't even there.

"Is that kismet or what, buddy?" A lopsided grin formed lazily on the hunter's face. Something about this seemed strangely familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Castiel waved a hand over Dean's eyes, finding that it elicited no reaction.

"Well, he likes you and you like him, so…"

It was then that it clicked. He seemed to be reliving the night when he had taken Castiel to that brothel. But why? Was he hypnotized? Under a spell from a witch?

Wait. No. Castiel remembered now. Humans sometimes experienced something they called "sleep walking." But did sleep-walkers normally relive past memories? Well, he certainly wasn't an expert. Dean had continued talking while Castiel was deep in thought.

"...Now just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu."

"Dean? Can you hear me?" Castiel tested. Dean didn't respond; he simply carried on talking through the conversation they had had what seemed like centuries ago. So, Castiel took a seat in the chair in the corner of the room and watched Dean play out his half of the scene. He supposed that as long as Dean didn't know that Castiel was there, it couldn't hurt. In fact, it would probably be better that he stayed to make sure that Dean didn't hurt himself in his state of unawareness. Dean paced around the room a bit, and Castiel fathomed at how intriguing the human mind was. It was so peculiar that Dean could be asleep, yet have enough control over his perception to know how to walk around without crashing into anything. At the same time, however, he did not possess enough perception strength to realize that he was not, in fact, in a brothel. Dean's sudden, loud, laughter interrupted Castiel's thoughts.

"Oh, nothing. Whew. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. Oh. It's been more than a long time. Years." And with that Dean became silent, shuffling back to his bed and lying down on it.

Castiel stood, crossing over to Dean's bed. He pulled the covers over his now still body, before flying off.


	2. Backbone

**So it looks like there's only gunna be three chapters. I know, they're all really short! It feels really weird posting such short chapters but this is just one of those stories where I feel like if I add more, I'm rambling on. I never write such short chapters... If you guys want some longer Destiel I have two other stories ( _All Paths Led Up to This_  and  _Just a Friendly Favor)_  that have longer chapters. And I actually have another Supernatural story which is significantly longer, but it's not Destiel... yet... but shh.. Don't tell anyone...**

**Thanks for the reviews guys! They really help! When people tell me what they like it helps me know what I should and shouldn't do in the future, and you could also suggest a prompt for another fic! I'm always looking for more writing ideas! Hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

"And why would an angel… rescue me from hell?"

Castiel sat on the table in the library, watching Dean silently. Apparently Dean had become so restless that the sleep walking… and talking, had become an every-night occurrence. Castiel relived the memory with Dean. This was the first time they had met. Well, the first time that Dean remembered. When he had come face to face with Dean inside his new vessel, he had hoped that Dean would remember the way he had burst into hell to bring him salvation. At first, Dean had been under the impression that he was under attack, and it took a great amount of coaxing to convince him to let Castiel take hold of him and raise him out. But when Castiel gripped him, Dean had clung to him like an infant to it's mother. Castiel certainly wasn't expecting to be shot the moment he walked through those doors to meet Dean's human form for the first time. Dean didn't have a single memory of their meeting. Back then, Castiel hadn't minded, he wasn't so entwined with human emotions, or Dean, as he was now. Now he wondered how things may have gone differently if Dean had remembered. Would Dean have trusted him more quickly? Would they have become friends more quickly… or something more…?

_I need you…_

Castiel shook those thoughts from his head. Now was not the time to think about that. Normally, Dean's subconscious chose happier memories to relive, instances that made him laugh, or when their bonds had grown stronger in the rare instances where Dean opened himself up. But now Dean's face was spasming with pain. Castiel recalled what he had said after Dean had claimed that good things didn't happen to him.

"You don't think you deserve to be saved," he murmured, studying Dean closely.

And he hadn't. There were times when Castiel thought that he still didn't believe it. But he had deserved it of course… If Castiel deserved to be saved countless times, surely Dean did as well. He was a far better man than he. Castiel was a coward… A spineless coward. He had been in existence, fighting countless battles for thousands of years, yet his bravery could never measure up to this man whose life was nothing but a blink of the eye in Castiel's. The thought saddened him. He couldn't imagine living on for millions of years longer after Dean was gone. Although, he could always visit Dean in heaven. Actually… that wouldn't work. Not in his current predicament. He was being hunted by heaven right now. Perhaps Dean would even outlive him.

Castiel gulped. He could die before he ever had more contact with Dean than these nights where he watched the human play out their memories like a television. He would really have to muster up the courage to talk to Dean before he died, leaving Dean with nothing but these restless dreams. It was blindingly obvious that he was the source of Dean's unrest. Normally, he would never assume that the hunter could care for him so much… But all of Dean's memories that he was reliving centered around Castiel, and though it made a warm feeling spread through his chest, it also made pain collect there as well. This was his fault. Dean would never have peace until Castiel grew a backbone and faced him. Surely Dean would forgive him if he really cared for Castiel this much…

_I need you…_

Dean started to shuffle back towards his bedroom. Yes. Castiel would do it… But not tonight. Soon… but not tonight.

He followed Dean back to the bedroom, but Dean did not lay down immediately… Instead, he sat down at the edge of his bed.

"Cas, you got your ears on?"

Castiel stopped, surprised.

"Listen, you know I'm not one for prayin'." Castiel didn't remember this prayer… He wondered if it happened while he was under Naomi's control.

"'Cause in my book, it's the same as begging… But this is about Sam, so I need you to hear me. We are going into this deal blind, and I don't know what's ahead, or what it's gunna bring for Sam. Now he's covering pretty good, but I know that he is hurtin', and this one was supposed to be on me... So... for all that we've been through, I'm askin you, you keep a look out for my little brother okay?"

Pain shot through Castiel. He hadn't heard him. He hadn't come through for him. God, how much could he expect Dean to forgive?

"Where the hell are you man?" Dean's voice broke, and Castiel felt something crack within him. He was awful. Unforgivable. He had no right to stay and watch. As much as he told himself that he was keeping Dean safe it was selfish, it was nothing but an attempt to make himself feel better. And he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to be important to Dean.

_I need you…_

He fled, Dean's words echoing mercilessly in his head.


	3. Awake

**Heyyy! It's the last chapter! And this one is three times longer than the other chapters combined! I hope you guys liked this story!**

* * *

Castiel tapped his fingers against his table at one of the thousands of Biggerson's that he had taken to sitting at. His other hand clenched and unclenched as he tried to focus on the task at hand. He had to find somewhere safe to hide the tablet. Unfortunately he kept coming up blank when it came to ideas. There didn't seem to be anywhere that the angels didn't have access to. Except perhaps hell, but he definitely didn't want to let demons get their hands on it. Of course, there was the bunker, but Castiel wasn't sure if he wanted the Winchesters to have it either.  
It had been over a week since Castiel had left the bunker that night.

He wondered if everything was alright with them. Was Sam still in trouble? Had Dean's restlessness gotten worse? He assumed that it had. It had certainly been increasing at a steady rate while he had been visiting. But how much worse could it get?

Castiel swallowed, gripping the table. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about Dean.

**_Cas? Can you hear me?_ **

Castiel stiffened. Well that certainly wasn't going to help his predicament. Dean was praying to him again.

_**Listen, I know this is pointless… You haven't answered any of my prayers in a while… But I just… Come on Cas. Where are you? You just left me high and dry right after I finally got you back… I mean. I know you heard what I said. You must have. That's what made you break through right? Talk about sappy. But I'm glad it happened. So now that you're free, you don't have any excuses to not answer me. C'mon man. Just don't even worry about the tablet thing, or Sam. I just need to talk to you. We need to talk. You'll come right? For me…?** _

_**…Fuck it.** _

Castiel glanced at the clock. Judging by the time and the time difference between here and Kansas, it would be around two in the morning in the bunker. Maybe it was time to go back to Dean. He certainly wasn't accomplishing anything here… He really was lousy at doing things on his own. Though he would admit that his Biggerson's scheme was pretty ingenious, he couldn't think of what step to take next. He couldn't do this for eternity. As long as he kept the tablet safe with him in the bunker, it should be fine. It wasn't as if he would have to hand it over to the Winchesters. He was sure they would understand. At least, he hoped.

When he landed in Dean's room, he was surprised to find him fast asleep, still fully clothed and on top of the covers. He had prayed to him not five minutes ago… Why was he asleep?

Then Castiel saw the empty whiskey bottle on his bedside table. It seemed that Dean had begun using alcohol as a sleep inducer again. He must have passed out right after he had finished praying. He considered waking him up, but decided it would be best to let him have his rest. He settled into the chair, taking a deep breath and fixing his eyes on the sleeping figure.

It wasn't long till Dean's light snoring halted and the man was rolling out of bed, completely unaware to the world. Castiel followed him, as usual, out of his room. He was surprised to see that Dean was making his way to the front door. His surprise turned into alarm when Dean stepped outside. How many times had his walks taken him outside? It was incredibly dangerous.

Dean stopped about twenty feet away from the door, his face turned up to the sky.

"Cas… It's me," His voice was rough and broken, and Castiel couldn't bring himself to look at the hunter's face. He knew already. He had known it would happen eventually. Dean was reliving the last time they had seen each other. "We're family…" Castiel didn't want to hear the rest of this, but he couldn't bring himself to move, "We need you…" No. No no no. He had to leave. Before-

"I need you…"

The words sent Castiel reeling. The words had followed him around like a ghost, haunting him, for weeks. Now it was coming from Dean's lips, tainting the air around him and clinging to his skin. But, it didn't mean what he wanted it to mean. It could never mean what he wanted it to mean. Family. Dean had called him family. Like Sam.

But that didn't matter. Castiel couldn't let that matter. Dean was in pain, and even if relief could only provided with his friendship, it was Castiel's job to do so.

"Dean…" Castiel murmured. Then the air was filled with a new sound, making Castiel's mind come to a screeching halt. It was so rare that he at first thought he was imagining it, but sure enough the hunter had fallen to his knees and the ragged, broken breathing of a crying man continued.

"Cas… Please..."

Something in Castiel snapped, he stumbled forward towards Dean, his arms outstretched. He dropped to his knees in front of him, pulling him as tightly to himself as he could.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he cried, repeating it over and over like a mantra. He had made Dean cry. This strong man who seemed uncrackable had been on his knees weeping because of him. He truly was despicable. He rocked back and forward as Dean hung limply in his arms. His own sobs in the air kept him from noticing the sudden lack of the other man's crying. It wasn't until the hunter's hands came up and rested on his back that he realized something was wrong.

"Cas…?"

Castiel froze, his eyes widening. How would he explain this?

"I'm dreaming still… aren't I?" Castiel was surprised to feel the hunter tighten his arms around him, and his face bury into his neck.

Castiel started to pull away, opening his mouth to speak.

"No." Dean tightened his arms even more, "Don't ruin the moment. I'm not ready to wake up yet."

"You're not-"

"Shutup Cas."

Castiel clamped his mouth shut.

"It's weird… most of my dreams are just memories… I know that this hasn't happened. Not that I'm complaining… My knees hurt a bit though."

"We could stand…?" Castiel suggest quietly.

"No. Can't risk it. Any changes could send this off in another direction."

"Dean, you aren't-"

"Cas. Stop. Just let me talk this out, okay?"

Castiel nodded hesitantly. How angry would the hunter be when he realized that this wasn't a dream?

"I've missed you."

Tears threatened to spill out over Castiel's cheeks again, "I know. I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry… just come back…"

"Dean I-"

"I don't want any explanations. This isn't real anyways. Whatever you say won't be what Cas really thinks."

Castiel wondered just how long it would take Dean to realize he was awake, and that this was  _very_  real.

"I've wanted to talk to you… There's some things I gotta say. This'll probably be good practice. Although, I don't know if I'll have the courage to say it when I actually see you… If I ever see you."

Castiel had no idea where Dean was going with this. He wished he could find a way to convince him that this was real. He knew for a fact that this hug was far too long than what was considered socially acceptable, and that the way his fingers were kneading Castiel's back terrified him and turned him into mush at the same time. Dean would be so angry when he learned that he was awake. Being drunk tended to make people amorous, Castiel knew that. Dean would never do this if he wasn't intoxicated and convinced that he was dreaming.

"I haven't said it to anyone since I was a little kid. You know how fucked up I am. Of course I've felt it. Sam. Bobby. And of course they know… I don't think you know it though… and," he gulped, "It's not the same as with Bobby and Sam. This is totally different. Yeah. I don't think I'll ever be able to say it to you when I'm awake. I can't even say it to Sam. How could I say it to you when you probably don't even feel the same way?"

Castiel was holding his breath. Surely he didn't mean what he thought he meant. It was impossible.

"I guess it's good that I have this dream then… It'll feel good to say it just once… without having to worry about the consequences."

"Dean-"

"Shh…." Dean shushed him. The air on Castiel's neck made him shiver. "Cas… I…" He took a deep shuddering breath, "I love you…"

Castiel's tongue turned to lead. He hadn't ever imagined that Dean would say that, even in his wildest fantasies. Dean just wasn't the type. He didn't show love with words that spelled it out for you, he said it by calling you an idiot or with small gestures and smiles. Even if Castiel had ever thought that Dean returned his feelings, he would never expect to come out and say it like that.

"Well… aren't you going to say anything?"

Castiel mentally kicked himself. "It'd probably be best if I didn't…"

"Why not?"

"Because," Castiel braced himself, "you're still under the impression that you're dreaming."

"What are you talking about of course I'm-" Dean stopped abruptly. Next thing Castiel knew, he had let go and jumped up to his feet and stumbled backwards. "What?"

"You're awake…" Castiel said, looking at the ground as he stood, "You sleepwalk… I followed you out here to make sure that you didn't get hurt… When you woke up, you thought you were still asleep."

"No way… I have to be asleep," Dean's eyes were wide with panic.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry…" Dean said blankly, his face paling. "Oh no… I just told you… I said…" He was starting to hyperventilate. Castiel took a step forward, worried. "No no," Dean held up a hand to stop him, stepping back, "You're sorry… Oh God."

"Dean I didn't-"

"Cas stop. It's fine. Just like I said… I don't expect you to-" Dean seemed to gag on his own words. "I can't believe I just… Oh my God I fucked up. I fucked up."

"Dean please-"

"J-just pretend it didn't happen Cas," Dean said frantically, "I can get over it. Just- just forget it."

"Dean," Castiel said loudly, "I don't want to forget."

"Y-you don't?" Dean looked like a frightened animal, "But you said… you said you were sorry."

"I didn't mean that I was sorry that you felt that way!" Castiel said angrily, biting his tongue as Dean flinched. He took a deep breath, calming himself. "I meant that I was sorry that I let you believe that you were asleep for so long while you were vulnerable. I shouldn't have let you continue to do and say things that you wouldn't have if you knew that you were awake."

"And now you're going to leave again-" Dean started again, practically babbling in panic. Castiel had never seen the hunter so vulnerable. It melted away the rest of his restraint, and suddenly he found himself pulling the shaking hunter into his arms. He didn't know where he had gotten the courage from, but soon he was kissing every inch of the hunter's skin that he could. He showered them on his cheeks and his neck, and his ears and nose and chin. Dean was stuttering complete nonsense until Castiel finally shut him up by placing his mouth over his. It took Dean a moment, but he began to respond with vigor, and Castiel felt the reigns being taken out of his hands as Dean's more experienced lips moved over his.

When they finally broke apart, Dean's hands were wound into Castiel's coat, and they were both breathing raggedly. Castiel smiled at Dean, whose lips were slightly swollen as he returned it shyly. Castiel placed his hands on Dean's willing them to let go.

"Dean I-"

"Please don't say you have to go. I don't think I can handle you leaving again." Dean held on with all his strength.

"I'm not leaving, " Castiel said soothingly, "I was just going to suggest that we go inside. It's late. You need to sleep."

Dean relaxed his grip, looking down sheepishly. "I might be a bit tired… now that you mention it."

"Alright, let's go." Castiel pushed on Dean's hands again, and Dean released his coat. He wound his fingers into Castiel's instead, who smiled and gave a reassuring squeeze as they returned to Dean's room.

Dean stood, staring at the bed reluctantly.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked.

"If I go to sleep… you'll be gone when I wake up." Dean's hands were clenched into fists.

"No I won't be," Castiel said reassuringly. Dean didn't seem convinced.

"Will you lay with me…?" Dean asked timidly, obviously embarrassed, "I know you don't sleep but… I figured that we could…" He stopped, looking down, "Uh… Shit. That sounds bad. I don't mean that I want to do anything you know-" He screeched to a halt again, backtracking frantically, "Not that I  _don't_  wanna do anything, but-"

"Dean." Castiel stopped him, suppressing a laugh, "It's fine. I understand what you mean. I will join you if it will help reassure you that I am staying."

"Okay…" Dean let out his breath, "Thanks."

"I will turn around so you can change," Castiel said, gesturing to Dean's normal clothing.

"Well uh… I don't actually have pajamas. I usually just… Don't wear pants."

"Alright," Castiel gulped, "I'll wait until you are under the covers then." He turned around.

Dean chuckled, "That's not really necessary you know. I don't mind."

"I know…" Castiel shifted uncomfortably, "But I do." He knew what other feelings accompanied this, and he didn't think he was quite ready for the feelings he might get when he saw Dean getting undressed. Even though he had seen him without pants nearly every other night he had visited, this was different. Things were different between them now.

"You can turn around now."

Castiel turned around, looking warily at Dean, who was now laying in bed under his covers. He slowly approached the bed, lifting only enough of the blanket so that he could slip under them.

"Cas."

"Yes?"

"You're gunna have to take your shoes off."

"Oh. Right." Castiel slipped off his shoes, "I suppose I should take my coat off as well."

"Whatever you're most comfortable with," Dean said. His voice sounded strained, confusing Castiel.

"Is that alright with you?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, uh," he coughed, "That's fine with me."

Castiel shrugged off his coat, avoiding Dean's gaze. After turning off the light, he climbed into bed beside Dean, drawing the covers up over him like a shield. He and the hunter were laying on their sides, facing eachother.

"Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"You said that I sleepwalk… How long did you know about that?"

"... A while…"

"How long have you been coming here for?"

"A while," Castiel repeated.

"Can you be a bit more specific Cas?" Dean sounded exasperated.

"You started sleepwalking about a week after the incident with the angel tablet."

"And you've been coming here how often?"

"Not very often in the beginning… But after I found out about it… I came almost every night. Except for the last week. I uh… didn't visit until tonight."

"Every night…?" Dean said slowly, Castiel started to hide his face under the covers.

"Yes. Almost. I'm sorry I didn't tell you… I was scared."

"Scared of me?"

"I didn't want you to be angry at me…"

"Well… I am a little angry…"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm a little angry… But I'm mostly happy."

A slow smile spread across Castiel's face, "Me too." He could feel Dean edging towards him slowly, nervously. His smile grew and he closed the space between them, placing his lips on the hunter's. A hand came up and stroked the back of Castiel's head. He sighed contentedly, breaking away.

"You should sleep."

"I don't think I can."

"Here," Castiel rolled onto his back, pulling Dean to him so that his head was resting on his chest.

"Gotta say… this feels a bit backwards to me…" Dean said, wrapping his arm around Castiel's middle.

"Would you like to trade places?"

"No…" Dean yawned, "'Snice."

"Goodnight Dean. I'll see you in the morning."

"'Night…"

* * *

It took Dean a while to muster up the courage to tell Sam about him and Castiel. Castiel didn't mind. He had waited patiently, letting Dean take all the time he needed. He was just happy that he and Dean were together at last, and that Dean seemed to finally be at rest.

"I wondered why you'd been sleeping better lately," was Sam's reply. He didn't even look up from his laptop.

"What?" Dean said incredulously, his palm sweaty in Castiel's hand.

"You'd been sleepwalking for weeks, muttering things about Cas. I should have known that the only thing that would get you to stop was Cas himself. I just wish you had told me he was back sooner."

"I was talking about Cas…?" Dean's face turned red. Castiel hadn't told him about the fact that he had been sleep _talking_  as well as walking.

"Yeah. I mean. It wasn't like it was a surprise. I've been waiting for you two to just freaking kiss for years," he grinned, "I came out the first night because I heard you walking around and I thought someone had broken in. But when I realized what was happening I just stayed in my room when I heard you after that."

That explained why he hadn't caught Castiel then. Thank God. That would have been an awkward situation.

"You didn't tell me that I was talking about you…" Dean turned to Castiel.

"I didn't think it was necessary that you knew. I assumed that you would be embarrassed."

Dean turned an even deeper shade of red, "What did I say?"

"Maybe I should tell you later…" Castiel said, nodding to Sam and adding an unspoken,  _when we're alone._

"Right. Okay."

Castiel smiled at Dean's embarrassed flush, before leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his lips. Dean responded a bit less chastely.

"Okay," Sam said loudly, "I changed my mind. I do not want to see you two kiss. Gross."

"Better get used to it Sam," Dean grinned pulling Castiel out of the room by his hand, "Cas is here to stay."

Castiel grinned as well.

Yes. He was.


End file.
